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Telecoms London

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The telecoms employment market is different, it's dynamic and incestuous.

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Telecoms London teaches you how to:

  • Avoid pitfalls
  • Write a winning CV - you may be surprised
  • Get your CV past HR and in the hands of hiring managers.
  • Maximise success in interviews
  • Sell yourself properly
  • Smooth over sticky subject and answer difficult questions.

A collection of Telecoms Londons funniest articles

Avoid falling prey to the HR interview trap

We've all done it. Got 2-3 interviews out of the way, and then along comes a personnel or HR interview. Compared with senior management, this should be a doddle right? 

Wrong. Be on your guard. These people deal with people every day, they are experts.

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Do I need to grow a set?

As I enter the cavernous hall, a familiar smell fills the air. Fear fills my heart as I scan the room. Most of the people here are much taller, physically stronger and more barbaric than me. I am the only one of my species here. I am well and truly on some-one else's turf.  I can even hear them babbling away in another language. Without so much as a flinch, I calmly compose myself and prepare to stand alone and defiantly fight my corner. As I go in deeper the strange creatures surround me stop and stare, unashamedly.

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How to survive the telecoms interview circus

Welcome to the telecoms interview circus. Now, allow me to introduce you to a new side of yourself. This side of you is submissive, cooperative, compliant, humble and helpful. 

These are all the qualities you will need in abundance to get through the next few months.

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Stop job seeking, ditch jobs boards and HUNT the telecoms jobs you want like a headhunter

How to target the right companies for your telecom jobs search.

1. How to get introduced at the right level.

2. How to find your perfect target company.

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(Spoof) Glossary of Terms for Telecoms Sales people

A - All hands. This is what happens when the sales cycle goes wrong. Like a tacky whodunit, all hands point at you.A - Aggressive. This is how you are expected to sell. In actual fact most clients would run a mile. 

B - Bull – this is what your boss throws at you to justify why this quarters target is 75% higher than last year.
B - Bonus. This is mostly an imaginary utopia.

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You know your a techie when

1. You have seen the matrix over 20 times

2. If ever you get cut wires come out.

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When techies cross over to the dark side

Every now and again, a humble telecoms egg head brushes the mushrooms off his desk and lifts his head up from programming sweet lines of linux code to look at the world around him. "Ohhh those command prompts feel sooo good" he casually muses as he surveys his surroundings nonchalantly.  Now this techie loves his job, and he's very good at it too. But from time to time the Sales people on his team catch his eye. He tries to look away but he is bemused as he watches them slap each other's backs in celebration, he is perplexed as they congratulate eachother, he is drawn in by their peacock stance and alpha male poses.

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Telecoms Sales People